We all know that girls care the most about, well, themselves. They like to hear how good they look, how funny they are, how much you’re attracted to them and so forth. They are also tired of hearing the same shit over and over again. They know they’re beautiful. They know they have nice eyes.

They look at the mirror 57453 times during the day so they’re quite aware of these mindblowing observations you’re making. I’m not saying you shouldn’t compliment them anymore. I’m telling you that if you want to get their attention quickly and really get them hooked, learn to compliment effectively.

What you would normally say.

“You’re really pretty you know that?”
“I really love your eyes.”
“You’re beautiful.”

Ew. What the fuck are you saying, man? You know what you sound like? Every horny motherfucker she’s met in her life that’s trying to get in her pants. If this didn’t work for them, what makes you think you’re a special case? By now, she’s so sick of hearing that, no matter how great a guy you might be, she’ll just write you off as just more of the same.

“But shouldn’t I compliment girls? I thought this was very important!”

It’s very important actually. They like to be flattered, regardless of how much they say they don’t care. How can you compliment effectively and not like every other dude? You have to be subtle. You have to be subtle in your delivery and the content of the compliment.

Being subtle.

Being subtle requires detective work. You have to be very attentive to her; to what she says, what she looks like, what she’s wearing, etc. Observe carefully and find nice qualities about her.

When you compliment her, say something nice about her that she’ll never expect anybody but herself to be aware about. It throws them off balance and makes her ask “Whoa, who is this guy?”

She’ll never expect it.

When I’m on dates, I compliment a lot, but extremely subtly. I pay attention to everything about a girl–her hairstyle, her clothes, her make up, the kind of nail polish she’s wearing, what kind of shoes she’s wearing, her mannerisms, the kind of jewelry she’s wearing, the things she says, everything. This gives me ample ammunition to say some really nice things about her.

For example, I would say things like:

“You know, it’s pretty cool how your nail polish matches your shirt.”
“It’s really cute how you always look up when you say something exciting.”
“Do you use X Brand of lotion? Your hands smell great.”

Did you see the difference? When I compliment, it’s targeted at something about her. It’s not general bullshit. It’s stuff she doesn’t expect you to know or care about. It wasn’t IN YOUR FACE and I didn’t say things totally bluntly. Instead, I noticed things about her and I managed to tell her that she’s got a great sense of style, has cute mannerisms and is well groomed without ever saying it outright. That’s what I mean by being subtle. It’s works like magic for me and a lot of times has turned someone that was “just a friend” into my next hot date. It’s also drove my dates into potential girlfriend territory.

Room for expansion!

When you get good at this, you can also throw in a tease and get more opportunities to further things. For example, me telling her about her hands smelling nice not only let’s me compliment her, but I can then proceed to touch her hands (since we’re on the subject!) and then further compliment her by saying something about her hands being soft and pleasant to hold. You got her comfortable and you got her feeling good about herself without sounding desperate or like a creep, and she allowed you to touch her. It’s practically set.

Complimenting subtly and effectively will help you get closer to girls quite easily. Remember, you can’t only compliment her during the conversation. Throw in some tease, make her laugh, and keep her interested. Just remember to sprinkle in the compliments throughout and you’ll have her hooked.

Is there still room for the classic compliments?

Absolutely. However, I’d advise to save them until she is a lot more comfortable with you, perhaps on your third or fourth date.

Those that possess a silver tongue are Gods amongst men. Having great conversation skills is often overlooked a lot and most don’t realize the importance of it. Knowing how to talk and how to talk well can yield you many benefits, especially with women. You can be a wealthy person with great looks and nice cars, but if you don’t know how to hold up a conversation (or worse, don’t know how to communicate well at all), you’re going to be in a lot of trouble.

Be forward

When you’re talking to a girl, you have to take initiative a lot. Meaning, don’t wait around for her to choose a topic or lead the direction of the conversation. That makes you look like you lack leadership and girls consider that as a turn off. When you are talking to her, make sure you’re always talking about something. You never want to have any quiet time. Any silence that lasts for more than 2-3 seconds is considered quiet time.

Try to avoid that like the plague because it shows her that you have nothing interesting to say and you’re boring. There have been times when I had nothing to say, and me and the girl would look around awkwardly. It’s pretty much like taking a dump on any dynamic that you two may have had prior. You need to keep the flow going.

Open-ended statements allow the conversation to grow

The truth is that you can talk about the most menial of things and make a conversation out of it, but you have to approach in an open way. What this means is that you must ask her open ended questions. Open ended questions are questions that don’t have a “Yes” or “No” answer. They are something you can build off of. Best part is that you can come up with open ended questions about ANY topic. Remember, avoid questions or comments that will elicit a yes or no answer because they give you zero room to work with.

P.I.E

Now that you know what to talk about, how do you keep it up?

The contents of your conversation should be positive, interesting, and engaging. A good way to keep up a conversation is to find out something about her and then build on it. For example, you can ask her what she did over the weekend and she says she went dancing. You can then talk to her about things like what kind of dancing she likes, how she feels about dancing, how you’re also interested in dancing, etc.

The key here is that you must BUILD off of what she replies with. Listen to what she’s saying and respond in a manner that will have her bounce back with something else and so forth. Try to avoid “closing statements” such as “Cool”, and “That’s nice” because you don’t want to just end the conversation right there. There is always potential to keep any topic going. Keep it fun and positive–you want her to laugh and generally like what you two are talking about.

The DON’Ts

Beware though; there are a few strict topics that you should NOT talk about, ever. They are instant turn offs and will jeopardize anything that you’ve got going.

I will kill you if you discuss:

• Your problems, whether it’s personal, financial, health, family, etc. She isn’t here for you to vent.
• HER problems. If she brings it up, try to change the topic ASAP. You’re not her psychiatrist.
• Previous relationships. Don’t ever bring it up. Period.
• Any kinds of complaints or criticisms about anything. Nobody wants to be near a bitter critic.
• Serious things like religion, philosophy, or politics. Save it for the forums or when you’re drunk with your friends.
• How much money you make/how successful you are. It just comes off as gloating, arrogant, and cocky (the bad kind). Bragging will make you look immature if anything.

When you talk to a girl, you have to keep her listening. You want her to have fun, engaged, and generally interested in what you’re saying. She needs to think to herself, “Wow! I’m really having fun talking to him!” which will keep her hooked and coming back for more. Remember; say open ended statements which will promote responses from her which you can then use as a platform to further the conversation. When you always have something interesting to say, you’ll always have somebody interested in listening.