Compromise is balance. Compromise is tending to each others needs. Many couples have problems because one either refuses to compromise with the other or give up too much and end up upset and unsatisfied. The key to a lasting relationship is balance and to achieve balance, c0mpromise must be made between couples.

What is compromise?

com⋅pro⋅mise [kom-pruh-mahyz], noun, verb:
a settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc., by reciprocal modification of demands

In English, it means when two people stop being little shits and reach a middle ground for the overall benefit for both. It doesn’t have to be a literal object all the time, but can also pertain to pretty much everything such as certain habits, hobbies, or other lifestyle choices. A compromise is usually made when one party brings up an issue with another one and if deemed reasonable, they both agree to adjust things. Sometimes, a compromise can be a sacrifice. Other times, however, it can be something that should have been changed in the first place.

Why is it necessary?

Compromising is the difference between a healthy, stable relationship and one that ends relatively quickly. Relationships require effort and tender care from both involved and as such, requires that both parties are satisfied for things to go smoothly. Many pointless fights happen because of stupid things like conflicting TV show schedules or what to have for dinner that become seeds for bigger conflicts in the future.

Simply put, everybody wants to have a peaceful relationship that’s as conflict free as possible. In order for that to happen, both of you have to be relatively happy and satisfied.

Thinking objectively

Men tend to be very hubristic creatures. I admit it, I always think that I’m Mr. Right. And even though I’m right most of the time, there are times when I’m really wrong.

Compromise teaches you to look at things objectively. We don’t realize it, but we can be very biased about things. We don’t give things a chance, or have our minds firm about something simply because “I know I’m right.” How many times have you felt that way about something? How many times have you been wrong?

One time, my girl and I went to see a movie. There was a movie she wanted to see badly but I wouldn’t watch it unless you dragged my dead body to the showing. I already made up my mind about it sucking and had another one in mind. My psychic powers with zero scientific basis told me it was supposed to suck. Nevertheless, I grit my teeth and went in anyways in order to avoid her bitching all night.

Ironically, I really enjoyed it and was kind of glad that I saw this movie instead of the other one.

Learn to give things up

You need to give to get. It’s the law this universe has been run by since the dawn of time and it’s worked out well so far. If you expect anything from your girl, you need to be ready to make some sacrifices.

Sometimes, they can be tough to do. Maybe you have a lifestyle choice that absolutely must be changed. You may feel that it’s fine for you but isn’t suitable for the relationship. Things like curbing your smoking/drinking habits, becoming more neat & tidy and such can be extremely tough for those who are well used to that kind of lifestyle.

Other times, they aren’t even serious. Is cleaning the dishes some days really that much to ask? Is something so simple worth getting into a fight over?

Some of things, however, must be changed not for the relationship, but for you as a person. As I mentioned, if you have serious alcohol related problems, not only will it strain your relationship but it’ll take you down to a spiral of suck. She shouldn’t even have to ask you to change such life threatening things.

..But have some self-respect. Don’t give up everything.

A line has to be drawn somewhere. Just because you’re listening to some of her demands doesn’t mean you must bow down to all of them. Don’t be a pushover. If you feel strongly about something, talk it out with her. Just as you shouldn’t dictate her life and her choices, she has no right to do the same to you.

I know for sure there are some things I will never give up no matter what’s at stake. At times, things just become a core part of you and make up your overall personality.

Balance

Remember, compromise is a balance. The scale should never sway one way but sit comfortably in the middle. One sided relationships arise from a person giving up too much for another person which usually turn out horribly. You must tend to your partners needs but in turn she has to return it as well. Don’t think of it as something reserved for big decisions but something you must deal with on a minute basis.You don’t realize it but compromise is being met daily between you and your partner.

I’m extremely picky when it comes to girls and I used to be what you would call a serial dater. There are certain qualities I expect from women and if she can’t impress me in the first few dates, I lose interest rather fast. You can find out a lot about a girl on just the first date. Sadly, there are plenty of guys that jump into a relationship without ever dating, and for the most part, those relationships fall apart rather quickly. Dating is extremely important and it shouldn’t be overlooked.

I had a friend who jumped into a relationship based only on the fact that the girl had a crush on him. That’s all it took. No quality time together, no dating, nothing. Over time, he began to realize that he had absolutely nothing in common with the girl at all and realized he got himself into a huge mess. He ended up breaking up with her. Had he bothered to try and gotten to know her better, he wouldn’t have wasted his time and instead, they could just have been friends. In this situation, they both lose.

Dating Rocks.

Dating around is awesome for various reasons. One, it allows you to meet tons of new people relatively quickly. A lot of the girls I’ve dated turned out to be interesting characters and even though I didn’t get with them, they make for excellent table talk. Two, there’s the huge benefit about zero commitment. You’re seeing multiple girls at once, possibly going far with a few of them without any commitment or fear of settling down. You’re progressing and you still got your options open. What’s there to lose?

Most importantly, however, dating so many girls allowed me to figure out what I want in a girl and most importantly what I don’t. Everybody thinks they have an idea of what their ideal girl is and what they want in them, but experience has taught me that:

• You rarely, if ever, know what you want.
• Your “dream girl” will constantly evolve.

More than one type.

I always thought that I had a “type” of girl that I’d fall in love with and so I kept on asking out those kinds of girls. But over time, I realized that my tastes constantly changed and there are so many things that I hated about my “type” of girl. The reality is that the girls you’ll really fall for overlaps a bunch of these “types”. Settling for one niche of girls is really just selling yourself short.

Dating made me realize that I hate certain attributes of girls that I previously thought I would love. Inversely, I started to like a lot of things about them that I would otherwise have not give a shit about.

Ultimately, it made me open minded and I was able to rid myself of my “type”.

Noticing trends.

You also start to notice many repeating trends amongst all girls. Every dating expert will tell you to treat girls, regardless of how good they look, as just that: girls. Every girl will think that they’re an unique snowflake with unique problems and unique thought processes, but really they’re the goddamned same. They’re just packaged differently.

Having this knowledge, you’ll have an easier time dealing with them. You won’t lose your composure and you’ll be less likely to do or say stupid things. The more girls you date, the more you become comfortable with them.

Bitter critics.

The main criticism I hear about dating is the same as for fashion—it costs money. If you want to be fancy, then sure it costs a lot, especially if you’re seeing a bunch of girls at once. However, I’ve been on dates that cost me no more than $10 bucks and some I didn’t pay for anything.

A date doesn’t have to be dinner and movie. It could be spending a night at the beach or a nice day out in the park. Come up with creative ideas for dates and not only will you save a ton of money, you’ll come off completely fresh and instantly have an edge.

Dating is essential.

Dating lets you keep your options open while you weed out the potentials from the duds. After all, it is a method of selection. You want the best possible deal and the only way you’ll find that is by testing waters. You’ll learn to love new things, hate other things, and ultimately become a lot more open-minded.

Good luck out there!

Starting stuff is really easy. You sit around one day and you ponder and BAM! A great new idea comes into your head and you want to get started right then and there. Problem is, as easy as it is to start something, procrastination eventually kicks in and we never accomplish about 98% of the things we want to do.

Do you know how long I’ve been planning this blog? For about a year now. How long did the actual labor take for the site to go live? Probably no more than 6 hours.

So why the fuck did it take me this long for something that shouldn’t have taken more than a day to accomplish? I got lazy. Laziness and procrastination are probably two of the most sinister forces I’m still fighting against today, but never fear: you can win the battle.

Close doors

Probably the biggest offender, the reason it’s hard for us to finish what we start is because we just start too much stuff. We have a hundred ideas for novels, a million ideas for potential blogs and every other thing that we might be slightly interested in. We keep adding to our list when we haven’t even started them.

When you have so much stuff, you don’t have the hours or energy to put into all of them. You need to close down all these open doors and focus on the important things. You need to ask yourself…

“Do I really want it?”

Evaluate in your head the things that are the most important to you. Start weeding things out. You may thought something was great when you first thought of it, but think it over. Do you still feel the same about it? What are you the most passionate about amongst your list of shit to do? Rather, out of everything, which one do you see yourself actually finishing at a reasonable time?

Make a list of things you REALLY want do and another list of things you might want to. Which ones are most desirable? Which has more priority?

You don’t always have to leave all your goals behind—you can always shelve them. The point is that you need to create a small set of tasks that you will be completely focused on. Once you finish those, you can always come to finish the rest.

Create small goals

Small goals are an excellent way to keep up motivation. Segment your ultimate goal into a ton of tiny ones, each of which will help reach the finish line. This way, you get used to the idea of finishing something and are motivated to keep on going.

You want to write a novel? Make a goal of writing a page a day. Want to learn the guitar? Tell yourself that you’ll learn a certain amount of scales and chords a day. These small things will eventually build up onto larger short-term goals and before you know it, you finally made it.

Stick to it, no matter what!

It’s fun to daydream about finishing what we want and the kind of end results we’ll get. That’s great but remember: none of that will happen unless you keep it up. There are days that I’m not motivated to write posts or anything, but I do it anyway because it’s important to me.

The hard truth is that if you want ANYTHING in life, you need to work your ass off for it. You need to work hard and make sacrifices. It’s been said a thousand times but it’s the truth. Stick to your plan to matter what. Force yourself if you have to.

Focus, focus, FOCUS!!!

Don’t get distracted. Don’t lose focus. If you do and you start to wane, read this post again. I will beat some sense into your brain until you are indeed energized enough to get back to your goals. Honestly, think about it: If you can’t even accomplish small goals, then how can you accomplish anything in life? How will you get anywhere?

Fear is an excellent motivator.

I was in this rut as well.

My friends used to refer to me as “The Guy That Started Shit”. I always made plans, but I never followed through with anything, let alone finish them–I was notorious for this shit. But I got off my ass and started to work and soon enough, things have started to fall into place.

Nothing feels greater than the feeling of accomplishment. Just stick to it and don’t give up, and you will also be able to taste this sweetness.

Animals are pretty rad. What’s even better is that they can seriously fill a niche in your life that you may or may not have needed filled. Many people just won’t bother with pets, but from my own experiences with my 3 month old kitten, I can say that owning one can give you a wonderful sense of fulfillment, and create a lot of joy in your life.

Companionship

We in general cannot survive without companionship. Love is something that we are entitled to, and pets such as dogs love unconditionally. Your pet can also be the much needed remedy to loneliness. They may not respond back to you but they will be there when you need an audience or just a much needed cuddle. Pets give you a feeling of purpose since they give you…

A sense of responsibility

You are after all their primary caregiver and as such, you have a tremendous amount of responsibility over them. Your pet relies on you for food, affection, fun, and everything in between. Some pets aren’t as high maintenance as others, but generally, you will have to do a lot of work in order to keep them healthy and happy.

Having a sense of responsibility creates awareness in your growth as a person. It’s ultimately a signal of maturity, and many people that lack it won’t progress as human beings regardless of age.

Puts things into perspective

You think you got it bad? Imagine one day chillin’ with your family and siblings until suddenly some giant hand just picks you up and takes you somewhere, never to be reunited with your family. All that you knew were gone in an instant and there’s nothing you can do about it. You’re now somewhere completely unfamiliar and at the mercy of whoever lives there. Think your problems are still that bad now?

Health benefits

Research has shown that pets also promote mental and physical well being. They have been discovered to lower stress and blood pressure. They also promote activeness in people by getting us off of our asses and as mentioned earlier, allay loneliness.

Excellent distraction

Pets provide a lot of distractions. They help you get your mind off of stupid things like break ups, school or work stress, or anything negative in general. When you’re busy washing your dog in the bathroom, or trying to find your cat in your messy basement (good luck), you won’t really have the time to think about your problems. We can all deal with a lot less stress in our lives. They also relieve general boredom. Honestly though, they’re…

Just pure fun

If you haven’t witnessed a cat jumping 3ft in the air to catch a fly, your life really sucks. Pets not only provide meaningful relationships but are just a blast to have. Dogs are known for outdoor activities and while cats may not be as active (try telling my cat that), they do a lot of silly things and provide a fantastic source of entertainment.

A pet gives a person companionship, responsibility, joys and distractions. Most importantly, they serve a sense of purpose. Many people feel lost in their lives not knowing what to do or where things are headed, but they can fill your voids as well as bolster profound thoughts. You’re responsible for another living creature after all and that burden pays off in many ways. You’d be surprised at their healing powers.

Not all pets are created equal and for a lot of animals such as fish or turtles, these statements may not hold true. But then again, I think having such useless pets is a waste of time and money anyways.

There are many great animals in shelters that need a home so do yourself (and them) a favor and adopt. Make sure you see a vet and pick up their essentials.