Jul 29, 2009
Be fresh–a date doesn’t have to be dinner and a movie. This guy knows that which is why he’s getting some.
I’m extremely picky when it comes to girls and I used to be what you would call a serial dater. There are certain qualities I expect from women and if she can’t impress me in the first few dates, I lose interest rather fast. You can find out a lot about a girl on just the first date. Sadly, there are plenty of guys that jump into a relationship without ever dating, and for the most part, those relationships fall apart rather quickly. Dating is extremely important and it shouldn’t be overlooked.
I had a friend who jumped into a relationship based only on the fact that the girl had a crush on him. That’s all it took. No quality time together, no dating, nothing. Over time, he began to realize that he had absolutely nothing in common with the girl at all and realized he got himself into a huge mess. He ended up breaking up with her. Had he bothered to try and gotten to know her better, he wouldn’t have wasted his time and instead, they could just have been friends. In this situation, they both lose.
Dating around is awesome for various reasons. One, it allows you to meet tons of new people relatively quickly. A lot of the girls I’ve dated turned out to be interesting characters and even though I didn’t get with them, they make for excellent table talk. Two, there’s the huge benefit about zero commitment. You’re seeing multiple girls at once, possibly going far with a few of them without any commitment or fear of settling down. You’re progressing and you still got your options open. What’s there to lose?
Most importantly, however, dating so many girls allowed me to figure out what I want in a girl and most importantly what I don’t. Everybody thinks they have an idea of what their ideal girl is and what they want in them, but experience has taught me that:
- You rarely, if ever, know what you want.
- Your “dream girl” will constantly evolve.
More than one type.
I always thought that I had a “type” of girl that I’d fall in love with and so I kept on asking out those kinds of girls. But over time, I realized that my tastes constantly changed and there are so many things that I hated about my “type” of girl. The reality is that the girls you’ll really fall for overlaps a bunch of these “types”. Settling for one niche of girls is really just selling yourself short.
Dating made me realize that I hate certain attributes of girls that I previously thought I would love. Inversely, I started to like a lot of things about them that I would otherwise have not give a shit about.
Ultimately, it made me open minded and I was able to rid myself of my “type”.
You also start to notice many repeating trends amongst all girls. Every dating expert will tell you to treat girls, regardless of how good they look, as just that: girls. Every girl will think that they’re an unique snowflake with unique problems and unique thought processes, but really they’re the goddamned same. They’re just packaged differently.
Having this knowledge, you’ll have an easier time dealing with them. You won’t lose your composure and you’ll be less likely to do or say stupid things. The more girls you date, the more you become comfortable with them.
The main criticism I hear about dating is the same as for fashion—it costs money. If you want to be fancy, then sure it costs a lot, especially if you’re seeing a bunch of girls at once. However, I’ve been on dates that cost me no more than $10 bucks and some I didn’t pay for anything.
A date doesn’t have to be dinner and movie. It could be spending a night at the beach or a nice day out in the park. Come up with creative ideas for dates and not only will you save a ton of money, you’ll come off completely fresh and instantly have an edge.
Dating is essential.
Dating lets you keep your options open while you weed out the potentials from the duds. After all, it is a method of selection. You want the best possible deal and the only way you’ll find that is by testing waters. You’ll learn to love new things, hate other things, and ultimately become a lot more open-minded.
Good luck out there!