Jun 27, 2009
5 Relationship Mistakes Men Commonly Make
Relationships are wonderful, and like every good thing in the world, they get screwed up time to time. But believe it or not, men are at fault a lot of times and they bring their own demise. Worst of all, they don’t realize what they’re doing wrong. Here are the five most common mistakes I have made myself as well as noticed guys make in relationships.
They are too “there”
Boyfriends will always be there for their girlfriends. You’d think that’s the whole point of a relationship right? It’s funny because girls are fucked up and the fact that you are there for her ALL THE TIME can really damage a relationship. Just like how you wouldn’t respond to all calls and texts from a girl you’re dating, the same rule applies to couples.
You need to treat girls as you would treat your cat; you always need to dangle things in front of them but never actually give it to them. It keeps their fickle natures interested. However, once they do get it, they get bored and move on. Guys screw up a lot by always calling and texting and responding and changing around their plans for their girls all the damn time. She needs to know that you have stuff to do and she will be put on the back burner time to time.
This shows her that your time is valuable and if it is always offered, it loses meaning to them. Remember, one of the most important thing to know about girls is that they want what they can’t have. They need something to look forward to.
They are too Stagnant
Thirsty Thursdays and Movie Night Mondays were great when you first started them, but after a few months, they get old, tiresome and irritating. The same goes for inside jokes, catchphrases, what have you. Always try to make progress whether it is in mannerisms or activities or even setting.
She loved you for your spontaneity when you guys first started to date, and there is no reason that you should stop being that way. The key to a healthy relationship is trying new things (even in the bedroom) and keeping things fresh. After the first few months of the relationship (aka the Honeymoon period), guys just stop putting in effort. It’s an extremely easy thing to avoid as well, you just gotta stop being lazy. Again, KEEP IT FRESH.
They are too counseling
Remember, you’re her lover, not her therapist. Leave the counseling to her friends, unless the circumstances are so serious that your gigantic nugget (hehe) of wisdom must come to provide aid. Girls don’t believe in reason and logic so you shouldn’t try to force feed your perspective to her as it will only make her do and say crazy shit.
She also doesn’t need you for support and her being attracted to you has nothing to do with whether or not you can pick apart her brain. It’s great that you can provide firm emotional support for her, but be extremely wise about when to use your superpowers. She doesn’t need you to pick her up and put her pieces back; she has her close circle of friends for that. It isn’t your responsibility anyways.
They are afraid to initiate (break up)
If there is anybody that is guilty as charged, it’s me. I can’t tell you how many times I held back when I should have just done the deed. Breaking up is an extremely tough trigger to pull but sometimes it must be done. A lot of times guys will see warning signs and they will hope things will auto-heal, but that leads to things spiraling out of control and the girl dumping the guy.
That’s wrong for a couple of reasons. One, we are prideful creatures and if there is any kind of dumping, we should NOT be on the receiving side. Two, if things are clearly going wrong and the signs are there, sticking around is about as productive as browsing porn at work. Breaking up shows girls that you aren’t gonna take their shit, and a lot of times puts them to check.
You need to exercise your authority in the relationship as the man, and you can’t take a passive approach when you’re faced with something so important. Either way, separation helps you both to realize your feelings for each other. Sometimes, it’s a permanent end, but other times can really propel the relationship to greater heights.
They start to act like women
Sometimes, we just lose it and start to be little bitches ourselves. Guys get needy. They get insecure. They get weak. And worst of all, all these emotions are brought out in front of her. Like girls, guys will start to get worried if they don’t text back quick enough, or make enough phone calls during the day. They start to act out of character and start to lose composure.They start to bitch and vent to their girlfriends.
You must remember that whatever you feel and whatever is going on, she should not see any of it. If you have problems, go hang out with your friends. But in the eyes and ears of your girl, you gotta be as firm as a rock. She doesn’t want to hear about how much your life sucks.
What are some other pitfalls that you have run into in your relationships?
Hey! (to whoever’s running this blog or wrote this article)
This is some excellent stuff – i like your content and style. Just stumbled the post to get some traffic your way
Keep it up!
Anthony
I’m really glad you like it man. Your website is pretty awesome too. You got yourself a new reader!
Hey, you proved alot of stuff there
Some I have heard on other dating helping sites and some I seriously never seen anywhere (Counseling and Girly topics) . Nice job.
Thanks, glad you liked it!
Hell Yeah. Your’e spot on. My Fionce fell in love with me for who i was. As soon as i started smothering her, she felt like i was taking control of her whole life. As soon as i stoped smothering her, calling her all the time etc. Things are now back to normal. Thanks for helping
the way you talk about women is kind of offensive… while you may have some good points, women are fully capable of reason and logic, and you should not “treat them like a cat.” they deserve a little more credit than that i think.
Holy crap that’s a lot of stereotypes and generalisations you’re packing into that article.
“You need to treat girls as you would treat your cat…” Are you serious? How about treating them like a human? Trust me, it’ll get you a lot further than going on about our “fickle natures” and how “fucked up” we are.
(As an aside, if the only women you have any experience with are ones who are fucked up, you need to take a look at the way you pick your girlfriends.)
Keeping things fresh; you got something right at least. Both men AND women crave variety and novelty, it’s part of human nature.
“Girls don’t believe in reason and logic so you shouldn’t try to force feed your perspective to her as it will only make her do and say crazy shit.” You know, I do have to admit that whenever people try to force feed me that bullshit about women being incapable of logic and reason I really do get the urge to do some crazy shit.
Seriously, who actually believes that these days?
“Breaking up shows girls that you aren’t gonna take their shit, and a lot of times puts them to check.” Because men never do anything wrong in a relationship, it’s only ever the girl and her shit that leads to breaking up. (Hang on, isn’t that what this whole fucking article is about; relationship mistakes that men make?)
“You must remember that whatever you feel and whatever is going on, she should not see any of it. If you have problems, go hang out with your friends. But in the eyes and ears of your girl, you gotta be as firm as a rock.” Because emotional honesty is WRONG. You must never admit to being anything but a big strong manly man who never lets his emotions show in front of his partner.
Never let the person you want to share your life with see what’s actually going on behind your stoic facade. After all you wouldn’t want her to think you’re “weak” and “a little bitch” like her, right?
This article is full of misogynistic bullshit that will destroy more relationships than it will ever help.
Biggest relationship pitfall? Believing this bullshit.
To: “randompassingfemale” (and respectfully to host), I understand you feel that a lot of what was said is crap. It would seem that way if I were a female. But if you look past the feeling that he is attacking all females and look more at his mission/content, I think it may make sense. I am going through almost 100% what he said with my wife. I am 45, she is 40, we have been married for 4 years, together for 5. I feel that due to her insecurities (from a bad past marriage and baggage) I found myself trying to prove to her that I am here for the long haul. Due to my consistent reminding and demonstrating my affection, she has gotten burned out by it. What the host is basically saying is to stop being so “there” for her and showing too much emotion. She will think I am smothering her and look like a wimp instead of someone that will be strong for her only when needed.
I think he has hit many valid points even though it’s spoken in “guy” language. If I thought he was being insulting to my wife, words would be spoken here differently. I can assure you, he does make sense and in a way that hits home to me.
As a female reading this blog. ..have to give you props…this is exactly what I tell my man…and he doesn’t get it..I’ll have to show him this..was not offended what so ever..some people just can’t handle reality.
A great read. Any man can relate to these. For me, it’s past releationships that cause issues. For example, my current girlfriend told me that she had a fling with a guy 15 years younger than her before me (I am 6 years older than her). I was curious about her past and asked. My advise, if you don’t want to hear about it, don’t ask. Once you know a bit, you want to know it all. It’a a very slippery slope and can poison your relationship.
Are you kidding me right now? It’s a complement to women to be compared to a cat! They come when they want to.,, you have to earn their respect.. They purrrr when stroked the right way…when bored… We hunt and play ..,or bat around a wounded bird. We laugh ar weak dogs. Well. You know what I mean!
Are you kidding me right now? It’s a complement to women to be compared to a cat! They come when they want to.,, you have to earn their respect.. They purrrr when stroked the right way…when bored… We hunt and play ..,or bat around a wounded bird. We laugh at weak dogs. Well. You know what I mean!
Your articles are amazing my friend! Keep them coming! I’m really learning a lot of things from your articles!
Thank you!