Jul 25, 2009
How To NOT Be Yourself And Get Positive Results

You’ve got dating problems. Great. You go to your friends for advice and what do they say? The same bad advice: “Just be yourself, man! If she doesn’t appreciate that, screw her.” And guess what? You keep following that advice, expect yourself to never get a chick.
Consider this: you’re having girl problems because you ARE yourself. Think, if you’re always “yourself” like the whole world suggests, why do you keep having girl problems? Men need to stop this arrogant and ultimately stupid way of thinking, which goes along the lines of “I’m perfect and she has to accept EVERYTHING about me or else she’s not right for me.” The fact of the matter is that you need to evaluate yourself and fix things.
Sometimes it’s trivial, other times it’s quite problematic.
The degree of this problem varies with people. For some, it’s usually just a bad habit that can easily be fixed. Others, it’s a lot more severe. There was a guy I knew and even though he was a decent person, he always had troubles with girls and was seriously flawed. He was always over critical of girls and expected far too much from them, bitched and moaned a lot about everything, and was a bit of a stalker and obsessive with any girls he liked. Guess what all his friends told him whenever he came crying when a girl rejected him?
“Fuck those girls man, they don’t appreciate you for who you are. Just keep being yourself.”
Fuck that pride shit, if you got shit wrong with you, you need to change yourself. Being witty or quirky are personality traits. Stalking and cornering chicks for not talking to you one night is a serious problem that needs FIXING.
Evaluate yourself!
It all starts with a self-evaluation. You need to admit to yourself that certain things about yourself is NOT working out, whether it’s the fact that you act really shy around girls or that you act like a fucking moron around them. Learn to swallow your pride and really tell yourself “Fuck, I’m screwing up big time.” The reason many people never change is because they refuse to admit that they’re doing something wrong. How long do you want to keep fucking up, really?
What they want and what they don’t.
There are also some general things that girls look for. Ask yourself, “Do I possess confidence? Do I have self-esteem? Am I good at holding up a conversation?” Things like that. If you do, then that’s great. If not, then you need to LEARN how you can attain those attributes. The great thing about life is that pretty much anything can be learned. You just need to really devote yourself to it.
Then you need to really weed out all the things that give you problems with girls. What has worked for you? What has women responded to in the past? Inversely, what turned them off? What could you have done differently that might have given a different response? Make a list and keep track of these things.
The common reasons that guys fuck up is that they’re:
- Too clingy and needy.
- Too obsessive and over-analytic.
- Say inappropriate things to girls.
- Just plain boring.
- Severely lacking confidence and leadership.
- In a mindset that they’re perfect.
Now you gotta apply.
After you know what works and what doesn’t, make the appropriate adjustments. People are afraid of change and going out of their comfort zone, but the more you linger the more you’re going to cause harm to yourself. People will always continue to evolve and adapt and change is something that needs to happen time to time.
Remember, if sealing the deal doesn’t work out for you, you probably need to work on your approach. Learn to curb your hubris and admit to faults. If you were always “yourself”, you would never have problems. Evaluate, add and subtract and you will do far better from then on.
Some of the things we see about ourselves is never really noticed. When friends, “say be yourself and you’ll find the right one soon”, You think that all the bad exs are wrong about you and they don’t like who you are. But someone will.
Totally wrong, its you who is the problem, your just too blind sometimes to see it. Once you do, it has to be you who changes it.
However, being yourself is also a good thing too. Being yourself is being unique. You want to be that to be different than other guys. You just have to shape yourself into that, to come out A MAN.
Nice post, man, well done.
Exactly, and I agree, being unique and yourself is extremely important. But that doesn’t mean that all the negatives about yourself can’t be weeded out.
The difference between a great man and just an average joe is the one that can admit to his flaws and fix them.