“Learn from your mistakes!”

You’ve heard it all your life, but how many of you truly listened to that statement? How many times have you really fucked something up and actually learned from it? Rather, how many times have you done something wrong and blamed it on something else?  The difference between growing and staying stagnant is the ability to admit to your mistakes and learning from them.

Exercise personal responsibility.

It’s hard, really, to accept responsibility for anything. I know I’ve had a lot of trouble with this and still do to some degree. Thing is that, unless it was absolutely out of your control, you’ve played some part in what you screwed up on. This doesn’t mean you should put yourself on some endless guilt trip because that won’t solve anything. Instead, accept and admit that you did mess up.

I had a lot of trouble accepting a lot of things that I did wrong with my ex-girlfriend. I always pinned the blame on her for us breaking up but I never stopped to realize that I was fucking up as well. It’s easy to blame someone else but you get to the root of the problem once you objectively look at something.

Yes, she fucked up and made mistakes. A lot of them, in fact. And so did I. Had I stopped being stubborn and ate my pride a little, maybe we would still be together. Regardless, this was an extremely important and valuable life lesson that I needed to learn and it’s helped me grow.

Evaluate what you did wrong.

So now that you’ve admitted that you did something wrong, what exactly did you do wrong? This is when you should sit down and analyze. Playback the event and see what you could have done alternatively.

Many people would disagree about replaying bad events in your mind, and although I agree to a certain extent, I believe that replaying your mistakes helps you realize your wrongs. It’s painful, yes, but I believe that it’s necessary.

Once you’ve pinpointed the moment(s) where things went to hell, REMEMBER THEM. That purpose of you screwing up is so that you..

DON’T do it again

That is why we mess up. In fact, it’s okay to make mistakes, providing we learn from them. Growing up, we fuck up daily and we learn important things such as how to deal with girls and how to cope with making mistakes. The point, however, is to NOT do it again.

It’s very tempting to make the same mistakes over and over again. In fact, most things take us about a million times before we realize that we’re going in circles. I used to make the same mistakes with girls all the damn time as I was growing up, and it took me until I was in college to realize that I’m fucking up. I evaluated my mistakes and haven’t made (most of) them since. Can you guess how successful I’ve been after my realization?

DON’T beat yourself up

Earlier when I mentioned acceptance, I talked about really learning to admit that you screwed up. I do believe that we have control over a lot of things, but that doesn’t mean we realize it all the time. Remember, it’s totally okay to make mistakes. EVERYBODY makes mistakes. What you need to do is stop sulking about it. You can’t change the past and no matter how much you wish or pray, the past will be the past. Instead, focus on what you DO have control over and that’s THE FUTURE.

I used to beat myself up for every little fucking thing that went wrong. Break ups, financial problems, even when I failed my first road test. I soon began to realize that this does nothing but kill my self esteem and optimism and I opted to just deal with it. You shouldn’t be too apathetic about it but don’t let it bog you down either. Find a nice, happy medium. The mistakes that affect you somehow are usually the ones that get fixed first.

Remember, it’s ABSOLUTELY okay to make mistakes. However, in order to truly grow, you must evaluate your mistakes and LEARN FROM THEM. When you’re put into a similar situation and instead take an alternative action, you’ll know you’ve learned.

There are a couple of things that I’m extremely thankful for in my life. I’m thankful for my family and the wonderful friends that I have. My friends have had a strong impression on me and my character. Like any good group of friends, we’ve taught each other many things and in turn have learned many important things as well.

Your problems aren’t as serious as you make them out to be.

It’s an awful habit that we make mountains out of mole hills, but sometimes we just can’t help it. We just get so hurt and affected by something that it seems like the world is about to end. Truth is, it’s nowhere near as serious as we blow it up to be.

Growing up I used to bitch and moan about the simplest of things but every time, my buddies would tell me to shut the fuck up and grow some chest hair. The shutting up part was easy. I remember how I’d come complaining to my friends about something that I thought was HOLY SHIT OMG serious and my friends wouldn’t really pay much attention to it, and often times criticized me for being a bitch.

I hated how they would just ignore my problems and thought that they just didn’t give a shit. However, over time I began to realize why they did and how overreacting was so unnecessary. Some days, things were really bad in my life and my friends responded appropriately. Most often, however, they made me realize that flipping out at every small obstacle in life is a pointless waste of energy.

You’re not the only person going through the same thing.

“Nobody understands me! They don’t know what the hell I’m going through!”

How many times have you felt that way? It sounds childish (and it is) and immature (this as well) but sometimes things spiral out of control that we truly feel that we’re unique in our misery. This is common amongst adolescents but a surprisingly amount of adults exhibit these emotions. We are human after all and we lose control here and there.

Its common knowledge amongst anybody that knows me personally that I’m at odds with my father. We’ve never had a good relationship and I doubt well ever reach rapport. I always thought nobody understood the kind of home I was growing up in and that made me feel detached from everybody. I felt that I couldn’t open up to people because they just wouldn’t get it.

I was wrong.

I’m surprised at the amount of people that are at odds with their dads, down to scenarios just like mine. I kind of felt silly afterward.

Talking frequency isn’t indicative of how close you are with someone.

Most people think that in order to maintain a strong friendship, you need to talk often and as frequently as possible. Real life proves that this isn’t the case at all. One of my close buddies is away serving the Air Force and we talk about once every 2-3 months. Whenever we do get a chance to catch up, it never feels like we even have to catch up.

There aren’t any awkward moments when we’re trying to figure out something to talk about. We pick up like we left off, as if we were just talking the other day. Sure we fill in each other with things here and there but for the most part, it’s like he never left.

Good friendships are forged from how much you allow someone else in and vice versa. Talking to somebody all the damned time makes you annoyed if anything. I’ve made extremely close friends within a relatively short period of time, and inversely, I’ve known people for over 5-6 years that I talk to on a decent basis that I don’t really feel attached to at all.

It’s about the content, not the volume.

Youre not as lonely as you think.

How many times have you felt that you had nobody to talk to? Or even the fact that no matter how many people you talked to that nobody ever cared about you? Growing up I always felt like that. I would talk to many faces and at the end of the day, I would still feel alone for no real reason. However, I failed to acknowledge back then that whenever I needed to talk to somebody, there would always be someone that picked up on the other side.

You are not alone. The only way you’ll ever be truly alone is if you isolate yourself in some mountain or just avoid talking to every single human being in this planet. If you choose the latter, you need to get some help–it’s a serious problem.We all feel lonely time to time but thinking that way is an insult to those that consider themselves a good friend to you.

They will bitch at you for waking them up at 3 in the morning to talk, but nevertheless they will be there for you and make you feel better. After all, you would do the same in return.

What have you learned?

You’ve got dating problems. Great. You go to your friends for advice and what do they say? The same bad advice: “Just be yourself, man! If she doesn’t appreciate that, screw her.” And guess what? You keep following that advice, expect yourself to never get a chick.

Consider this: you’re having girl problems because you ARE yourself. Think, if you’re always “yourself” like the whole world suggests, why do you keep having girl problems? Men need to stop this arrogant and ultimately stupid way of thinking, which goes along the lines of “I’m perfect and she has to accept EVERYTHING about me or else she’s not right for me.” The fact of the matter is that you need to evaluate yourself and fix things.

Sometimes it’s trivial, other times it’s quite problematic.

The degree of this problem varies with people. For some, it’s usually just a bad habit that can easily be fixed. Others, it’s a lot more severe. There was a guy I knew and even though he was a decent person, he always had troubles with girls and was seriously flawed. He was always over critical of girls and expected far too much from them, bitched and moaned a lot about everything, and was a bit of a stalker and obsessive with any girls he liked. Guess what all his friends told him whenever he came crying when a girl rejected him?

“Fuck those girls man, they don’t appreciate you for who you are. Just keep being yourself.”

Fuck that pride shit, if you got shit wrong with you, you need to change yourself. Being witty or quirky are personality traits. Stalking and cornering chicks for not talking to you one night is a serious problem that needs FIXING.

Evaluate yourself!

It all starts with a self-evaluation. You need to admit to yourself that certain things about yourself is NOT working out, whether it’s the fact that you act really shy around girls or that you act like a fucking moron around them. Learn to swallow your pride and really tell yourself “Fuck, I’m screwing up big time.” The reason many people never change is because they refuse to admit that they’re doing something wrong. How long do you want to keep fucking up, really?

What they want and what they don’t.

There are also some general things that girls look for. Ask yourself, “Do I possess confidence? Do I have self-esteem? Am I good at holding up a conversation?” Things like that. If you do, then that’s great. If not, then you need to LEARN how you can attain those attributes. The great thing about life is that pretty much anything can be learned. You just need to really devote yourself to it.

Then you need to really weed out all the things that give you problems with girls. What has worked for you? What has women responded to in the past? Inversely, what turned them off? What could you have done differently that might have given a different response? Make a list and keep track of these things.

The common reasons that guys fuck up is that they’re:

• Too clingy and needy.
• Too obsessive and over-analytic.
• Say inappropriate things to girls.
• Just plain boring.
• Severely lacking confidence and leadership.
• In a mindset that they’re perfect.

Now you gotta apply.

After you know what works and what doesn’t, make the appropriate adjustments. People are afraid of change and going out of their comfort zone, but the more you linger the more you’re going to cause harm to yourself. People will always continue to evolve and adapt and change is something that needs to happen time to time.

Remember, if sealing the deal doesn’t work out for you, you probably need to work on your approach. Learn to curb your hubris and admit to faults. If you were always “yourself”, you would never have problems. Evaluate, add and subtract and you will do far better from then on.

Animals are pretty rad. What’s even better is that they can seriously fill a niche in your life that you may or may not have needed filled. Many people just won’t bother with pets, but from my own experiences with my 3 month old kitten, I can say that owning one can give you a wonderful sense of fulfillment, and create a lot of joy in your life.

Companionship

We in general cannot survive without companionship. Love is something that we are entitled to, and pets such as dogs love unconditionally. Your pet can also be the much needed remedy to loneliness. They may not respond back to you but they will be there when you need an audience or just a much needed cuddle. Pets give you a feeling of purpose since they give you…

A sense of responsibility

You are after all their primary caregiver and as such, you have a tremendous amount of responsibility over them. Your pet relies on you for food, affection, fun, and everything in between. Some pets aren’t as high maintenance as others, but generally, you will have to do a lot of work in order to keep them healthy and happy.

Having a sense of responsibility creates awareness in your growth as a person. It’s ultimately a signal of maturity, and many people that lack it won’t progress as human beings regardless of age.

Puts things into perspective

You think you got it bad? Imagine one day chillin’ with your family and siblings until suddenly some giant hand just picks you up and takes you somewhere, never to be reunited with your family. All that you knew were gone in an instant and there’s nothing you can do about it. You’re now somewhere completely unfamiliar and at the mercy of whoever lives there. Think your problems are still that bad now?

Health benefits

Research has shown that pets also promote mental and physical well being. They have been discovered to lower stress and blood pressure. They also promote activeness in people by getting us off of our asses and as mentioned earlier, allay loneliness.

Excellent distraction

Pets provide a lot of distractions. They help you get your mind off of stupid things like break ups, school or work stress, or anything negative in general. When you’re busy washing your dog in the bathroom, or trying to find your cat in your messy basement (good luck), you won’t really have the time to think about your problems. We can all deal with a lot less stress in our lives. They also relieve general boredom. Honestly though, they’re…

Just pure fun

If you haven’t witnessed a cat jumping 3ft in the air to catch a fly, your life really sucks. Pets not only provide meaningful relationships but are just a blast to have. Dogs are known for outdoor activities and while cats may not be as active (try telling my cat that), they do a lot of silly things and provide a fantastic source of entertainment.

A pet gives a person companionship, responsibility, joys and distractions. Most importantly, they serve a sense of purpose. Many people feel lost in their lives not knowing what to do or where things are headed, but they can fill your voids as well as bolster profound thoughts. You’re responsible for another living creature after all and that burden pays off in many ways. You’d be surprised at their healing powers.

Not all pets are created equal and for a lot of animals such as fish or turtles, these statements may not hold true. But then again, I think having such useless pets is a waste of time and money anyways.

There are many great animals in shelters that need a home so do yourself (and them) a favor and adopt. Make sure you see a vet and pick up their essentials.